One man’s trash…

“Ring the bells that still can ring,
Forget your perfect offering.
There is a crack in everything.
That’s how the light gets in.” -Leonard Cohen

Antique stores are hopeful places, places that believe in second chances. They accept what others have thrown away, given up on, discarded as un-useable, because they see the potential that remains. Recently, I found myself in a dusty and well-stocked one named “One Man’s Trash…”, an homage to the saying, “One man’s trash is another man’s treasure.”

This store had a little of everything, from automobile parts, to farming and gardening equipment, to knick-knacks and artwork found in households. I struck up a conversation with the older gentleman who owned the store, wondering what he enjoyed most about the antiques business. “I believe that everything can be used again, and nothing needs to be wasted,” he said with a contented smile. “I love that notion.”

Everything is useful, and nothing needs to be wasted.

But shame tells us something different. Shame tells us that there’s something so fundamentally wrong with us, so unforgiveable and ugly that if anyone really knew us fully, they’d be repulsed. And we’ve accepted this version of the story to one degree or another. So we feel we must hide those parts of ourselves, and pray no one ever finds out.

Maybe the shame is connected to things you’ve done; choices you regret so deeply that you’ve mistaken who you are for what you did. And no good can come from this.

Maybe the shame is about something that was done to you; and the trauma has left you feeling like you’re too broken to ever be whole again. And no good can come from this.

Unchecked and unexamined, shame feeds on isolation and secrets. Its power grows in the dark.

But did you ever stop to think that only humans feel shame? Animals don’t feel shame. Fish and plants don’t feel shame. Bugs don’t feel shame.

What if we could do something different with shame; to understand it’s presence as a confirmation of our inherent worth and our potential for transformation? Stay with me here.

Shame confirms two truths: that we are not living as we should, and that we are meant for more. Yes, we’re wounded, but we can heal. Yes, we’re imperfect, but we can learn. Yes we’re human, but we’re human…made in the Image of God.

The truth is that if we really were worthless, and so horribly flawed that we could not heal or be loved, we wouldn’t feel shame. We’d feel right at home in our garbage. Our negative self-concept would be congruent with who we truly were, and who we were capable of being. But we don’t…and shame tells us we shouldn’t.

Feelings of shame tell us that we’re stuck in a reality that isn’t fit for us. We are built for freedom, for dignity, for joy, and anything less is not going to feel natural. Everything is useful, and nothing should be wasted.

It’s the ultimate recycling plan.

Question for reflection: What have you felt ashamed of in your life, and what have you done about it?