“Out of suffering have emerged the strongest souls. The most massive characters are seared with scars.” -Kahlil Gibran
This past month I’ve watched with great sadness the burning and looting of London. The combustible mix of poverty, unemployment, and the perception that the government couldn’t care less has once again erupted into rioting. It is a horrible thing to watch people give in to their pain and anger and behave like crazed animals. Actually, now I’m not being fair to animals.
Almost as disturbing as the flames and violence, though, was the analysis of the commentator trying to make sense of the chaos. “Anyone would respond this way if put in similar straits.”
Anyone? How pathetic. How wrong.
But what do you do when you’ve been injured, when you suffer? How do you respond?
Anger will kick in almost immediately, often mixed with a shot of fear. And then an internal sense of justice cries out for a response. “That’s not fair.” “I didn’t deserve that.” “This can’t happen again.” And then what? This is where things typically get ugly. Payback.
But what if injury and suffering could lead to learning, healing, and wisdom?
Ladies and gentlemen, I’d like to introduce you to the finest virtue you’ve never heard of: magnanimity.
Magnanimity, literally translated as “greatness of soul”, is the virtue that transforms hurt into gift. Gift? How is this possible? Because like nothing else, hurt reveals the poverty and potential of humanity. And in this hurt and subsequent anger, magnanimity helps one to choose the exceptional instead of the typical; to respond in a way that witnesses to both truth and love.
Of course one does not become magnanimous, a great soul like Aristotle, Lincoln, Gandhi, or Mother Teresa, all of a sudden and by accident. It takes a lot of practice with anger. Anger is the proverbial fork in the road; where one veers toward magnanimity or pettiness. What one does with anger makes all the difference.
Magnanimity is rare, but opportunities to practice it are not. They will find you in the everyday world: the driver who cuts you off on the freeway; the annoying neighbor who plays his music too loudly; the co-worker who backstabs you; the economic downturn that guts your retirement account; the illness that steals the health of a loved one. All are injuries, big and small; all are opportunities to become a great soul.
The magnanimous see the potential for good in suffering and injury; recognizing both what we are and what we can become. They transform hurt into health, and in the process go from good to great.
Question for reflection: How could you use hurt feelings to grow in magnanimity?
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About Me
- Ross Porter
- Dr. Ross Porter received his B.A. from the University of California, Santa Barbara, and his Master of Divinity (Theology) and Ph.D. (Clinical Psychology) degrees from Fuller Theological Seminary, where he first became interested in the integration of psychology and spirituality. He is a teacher, author, counselor, and consultant, specializing in integrative psychology, virtue ethics and family systems. He has taught at the high school, college, and graduate school levels. Ross is also the Founder and Executive Director of Stillpoint Family Resources, a non-profit organization that offers counseling services to individuals, couples, and families in crisis, with nine different office locations throughout Ventura, Los Angeles and Orange Counties (specific office locations can be found at www.stillpointfamilyresources.org). In 2009, Dr. Porter was named an “Outstanding Angeleno” by the Los Angeles Daily News. Ross and his wife Jennifer have been married for 21 years, and have four beautiful children. John Michael, their son who has Down Syndrome is their first born.
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