“Ring the bells that still can ring,
Forget your perfect offering.
There is a crack in everything.
That’s how the light gets in.”
-Leonard Cohen
You know the saying that the cover-up is worse than the crime? This was certainly true in the world of pottery-making, in ancient Corinth. Pottery was big business and there was fierce competition for the almighty drachma.
The process always began with the same routine: The craftsman would form the clay into pottery, then fire the pottery in a kiln, and finally examine the finished product by holding it up to the light to look for any cracks that might have occurred in the firing. If none were found, the pottery was good to sell as “clean, authentic, high quality.” If cracks were found, the damaged pottery was supposed to be thrown away, and the process begun again.
However, less reputable pottery makers more interested in the bottom line then in being honest would take a different path. They’d notice the cracks that had formed during the baking process. But instead of disposing of the bad pottery, they’d fill in the cracks with wax, and then paint over the wax to further hide the imperfections.
To distinguish themselves, and the integrity of their product, the honest potters would hang a sign at the entrance of their shops that read, “Sincerus,” which literally means “without wax” This promised the customers that the handiwork was well-done, and that imperfections had not been covered up with wax and paint. The authentic pottery cost more because more had gone into its creation. But for those looking for quality and a greater long-term return on their investment, it was well worth it.
Sincerus.
Sincerity has always been about purity of intention, and trustworthiness, and genuineness. And like anything that is valauble, it will cost you.
Sincerity asks you to value truth more than appearances, so if you’re serious about acquiring it you’ll need to follow the example of the honest potter. Take the time to carefully examine your life in the light, and admit when you find cracks…dishonesty, pettiness, hypocrisy, envy, malice. And then start again.
Sincerity does not ask you to be perfect, but it does ask that you take responsibility for your imperfections, and do something about your imperfections. Care enough to walk the walk, and not just talk the talk.
I will stop cheating.
I will stop gossiping.
I will stop lying.
I will stop making promises I don’t intend to keep.
I will stop making excuses for my bad behavior.
Sincerus!
Practicing sincerity will take some effort, and discipline, and humility. And you won’t get it right away. Short term, it will feel easier to hide, cut corners, make excuses, and cover up the imperfections. But all this does is guarantee failure. Because in the pursuit of goodness, and integrity, and truth, the cover-up becomes the greater crime.
So leave the wax behind and decide to live differently… sincerely.
Question for reflection: What are the cracks in your life that you need to stop covering up, and start addressing with sincerity?
Saturday, February 11, 2012
Friday, February 3, 2012
The blind side: The virtue of friendship
"Be courteous to all, but intimate with few, and let those few be well tried before you give them your confidence.”
-George Washington
If I asked you to name a quarterback who has played in the NFL, my guess is that even non-football fans could come up with someone: Joe Namath, Roger Staubach, Terry Bradshaw, Joe Montana, Brett Favre, Tom Brady, Eli Manning. But how many of you could name the offensive left tackles who guarded these quarterbacks’ “blind sides.” Right.
That’s because, fair or not, the quarterback gets most of the glory. The responsibility to score points is literally in his hands, so most games are as well.
As the game is played, the quarterback takes the ball and drops back time and again, while looking downfield for an open receiver to pass to. And he looks, and looks, and looks...and all the while the left tackle stands between him and disaster, protecting him from the violent rush of players coming from behind him and wanting to crush him. The quarterback may get the attention, but he’d be picking up his teeth much more often than wins if someone didn’t have his back.
Michael Lewis highlights this truth in The Blind Side, a good book that became an inspiring movie. But the story of Michael Oher, the young man who goes from poster child for youth-at-risk to NFL star, is about a lot more than football.
Oher had all the physical gifts in the world; massive size, herculean strength, and eye-popping agility. Yet he would have been lost if the Tuohys, his adoptive family, hadn’t taken an active interest in him, continued investing love and care in him, and provided a safe environment where he could develop and grow. Through friendship they had his “blind side.”
Becoming a successful human being, which is not the same thing as becoming wealthy, famous, or powerful, is essentially about relationships. And at the heart of relationships is the virtue of friendship.
It takes a great deal to be a friend. Yet, the common perception continues to be that if you have fun with someone, you’re friends. If you have things in common with someone, you’re friends. If you’re attracted to someone, you’re friends. Friendships apparently demand about as much effort as clicking “accept” on a Facebook invitation.
This, of course, is a recipe for disaster.
“Be courteous to all, but intimate with few, and let those few be well tried before you give them your confidence.”
Friendship, like any virtue, takes time to develop. It can and should include fun, and common interests, and attraction. But it’s about a lot more than that.
Friendship, true and personal connection that lasts, is always about giving and receiving; practicing and learning how to be trustworthy with another, how to be responsive with another, how to be caring with another, and how to be truthful with another.
But to really understand the virtue of friendship, begin by acting like an offensive left tackle and focus on the blind side coverage.
Question for reflection: Who’s got your back?
-George Washington
If I asked you to name a quarterback who has played in the NFL, my guess is that even non-football fans could come up with someone: Joe Namath, Roger Staubach, Terry Bradshaw, Joe Montana, Brett Favre, Tom Brady, Eli Manning. But how many of you could name the offensive left tackles who guarded these quarterbacks’ “blind sides.” Right.
That’s because, fair or not, the quarterback gets most of the glory. The responsibility to score points is literally in his hands, so most games are as well.
As the game is played, the quarterback takes the ball and drops back time and again, while looking downfield for an open receiver to pass to. And he looks, and looks, and looks...and all the while the left tackle stands between him and disaster, protecting him from the violent rush of players coming from behind him and wanting to crush him. The quarterback may get the attention, but he’d be picking up his teeth much more often than wins if someone didn’t have his back.
Michael Lewis highlights this truth in The Blind Side, a good book that became an inspiring movie. But the story of Michael Oher, the young man who goes from poster child for youth-at-risk to NFL star, is about a lot more than football.
Oher had all the physical gifts in the world; massive size, herculean strength, and eye-popping agility. Yet he would have been lost if the Tuohys, his adoptive family, hadn’t taken an active interest in him, continued investing love and care in him, and provided a safe environment where he could develop and grow. Through friendship they had his “blind side.”
Becoming a successful human being, which is not the same thing as becoming wealthy, famous, or powerful, is essentially about relationships. And at the heart of relationships is the virtue of friendship.
It takes a great deal to be a friend. Yet, the common perception continues to be that if you have fun with someone, you’re friends. If you have things in common with someone, you’re friends. If you’re attracted to someone, you’re friends. Friendships apparently demand about as much effort as clicking “accept” on a Facebook invitation.
This, of course, is a recipe for disaster.
“Be courteous to all, but intimate with few, and let those few be well tried before you give them your confidence.”
Friendship, like any virtue, takes time to develop. It can and should include fun, and common interests, and attraction. But it’s about a lot more than that.
Friendship, true and personal connection that lasts, is always about giving and receiving; practicing and learning how to be trustworthy with another, how to be responsive with another, how to be caring with another, and how to be truthful with another.
But to really understand the virtue of friendship, begin by acting like an offensive left tackle and focus on the blind side coverage.
Question for reflection: Who’s got your back?
Friday, January 27, 2012
JoePa's final lesson: The virtue of reason
"Those who will not reason are bigots, those who cannot are fools, and those who dare not are slaves.”
-Lord Byron
Joe Paterno, beloved Hall of Fame football coach of Penn State University for 46 seasons and a living legend, died Sunday at the age of 85. He now rests in peace, but peace is the last thing those in the community that loved him best are experiencing.
This is odd to be saying about a man who had a remarkable record of success in most every way. “JoePa” was the all-time winningest coach in major college football, graduated an impressively high 78% of his players, and won multiple national championships. More importantly he was a family man (married for just short of fifty years, with five children and 17 grandchildren) and an exceptional mentor. He was also extraordinarily philanthropic, community minded, and a model example of how to run a major football program with integrity.
Which made the horrific revelations about child sexual abuse going on within his staff almost inconceivable.
In 2002, Paterno was told that one of his assistant coaches had allegedly sexually molested a young boy on the campus. At that time Paterno immediately fulfilled his legal duty by reporting what he had been told to his superiors. And then he went back to business as usual and apparently never addressed the issue again.
When the case finally went public three months ago and the university exploded in controversy, the Board of Trustees rightly concluded that Paterno could have, should have, done more. He should have been more assertive in pursuing the truth, in confronting the alleged molester, and in recognizing that protecting the innocent was the best way to protect the football program.
Although the investigation has not implicated him in any personal wrong-doing, Paterno’s disturbingly passive approach to the reported evil that went on behind his back cannot be excused, regardless of his age, his cultural background, or his lack of specific knowledge. He knew enough to have done more, and he admitted as much before his death.
Now the struggle to understand Joe Paterno’s complicated legacy is already stirring heated debate. And with any heated debate you have extremes; “pro-Joe” or “anti-Joe,” with very little in-between.
Enter the virtue of reason.
Reason is the ability to think calmly, deeply, and well; to take an issue and explore it from different angles while avoiding the mistake of drawing premature conclusions.
Reason helps us take our emotions, understand what they’re telling us, and then use them in a greater pursuit of objective truth.
Reason guides us in gathering and sorting through the relevant facts.
Reason is the process that leads to an increasingly complete understanding of the whole story.
Reason is an essential part of being human.
But reason is too often in short supply, particularly during times of great crisis, and pain, and fear, and anger because reason takes mental discipline, and moral courage, and a willingness to seek the middle way of integrity. His remarkable record of success notwithstanding, Joe Paterno failed to practice the virtue of reason when it came to confronting child sexual abuse. He serves as a case study.
But what people do with this coaching icon who in the final three months of his life became a tragic hero will be even more instructive. Some will want to airbrush and deny, while others will want to crucify and dismiss. However those who practice the virtue of reason will resist the temptation to veer toward one extreme or the other. They will choose instead to explore the complexities of the man and his legacy, and begin to draw valuable insights from this moral confusion.
And once more it will be shown that good really can come from anything.
Question for reflection: Do you think deeply and carefully?
-Lord Byron
Joe Paterno, beloved Hall of Fame football coach of Penn State University for 46 seasons and a living legend, died Sunday at the age of 85. He now rests in peace, but peace is the last thing those in the community that loved him best are experiencing.
This is odd to be saying about a man who had a remarkable record of success in most every way. “JoePa” was the all-time winningest coach in major college football, graduated an impressively high 78% of his players, and won multiple national championships. More importantly he was a family man (married for just short of fifty years, with five children and 17 grandchildren) and an exceptional mentor. He was also extraordinarily philanthropic, community minded, and a model example of how to run a major football program with integrity.
Which made the horrific revelations about child sexual abuse going on within his staff almost inconceivable.
In 2002, Paterno was told that one of his assistant coaches had allegedly sexually molested a young boy on the campus. At that time Paterno immediately fulfilled his legal duty by reporting what he had been told to his superiors. And then he went back to business as usual and apparently never addressed the issue again.
When the case finally went public three months ago and the university exploded in controversy, the Board of Trustees rightly concluded that Paterno could have, should have, done more. He should have been more assertive in pursuing the truth, in confronting the alleged molester, and in recognizing that protecting the innocent was the best way to protect the football program.
Although the investigation has not implicated him in any personal wrong-doing, Paterno’s disturbingly passive approach to the reported evil that went on behind his back cannot be excused, regardless of his age, his cultural background, or his lack of specific knowledge. He knew enough to have done more, and he admitted as much before his death.
Now the struggle to understand Joe Paterno’s complicated legacy is already stirring heated debate. And with any heated debate you have extremes; “pro-Joe” or “anti-Joe,” with very little in-between.
Enter the virtue of reason.
Reason is the ability to think calmly, deeply, and well; to take an issue and explore it from different angles while avoiding the mistake of drawing premature conclusions.
Reason helps us take our emotions, understand what they’re telling us, and then use them in a greater pursuit of objective truth.
Reason guides us in gathering and sorting through the relevant facts.
Reason is the process that leads to an increasingly complete understanding of the whole story.
Reason is an essential part of being human.
But reason is too often in short supply, particularly during times of great crisis, and pain, and fear, and anger because reason takes mental discipline, and moral courage, and a willingness to seek the middle way of integrity. His remarkable record of success notwithstanding, Joe Paterno failed to practice the virtue of reason when it came to confronting child sexual abuse. He serves as a case study.
But what people do with this coaching icon who in the final three months of his life became a tragic hero will be even more instructive. Some will want to airbrush and deny, while others will want to crucify and dismiss. However those who practice the virtue of reason will resist the temptation to veer toward one extreme or the other. They will choose instead to explore the complexities of the man and his legacy, and begin to draw valuable insights from this moral confusion.
And once more it will be shown that good really can come from anything.
Question for reflection: Do you think deeply and carefully?
Friday, January 20, 2012
Humming along: The virtue of perseverance
“Great works are performed not by strength but by perseverance.”
-Samuel Johnson
Dr. Wangari Muta Maathai was a force of nature. In her seventy-one remarkable years she was a champion of women’s rights (especially in her native Kenya), was a notable environmentalist, and even served as a member of parliament and assistant minister for environment and natural resources. Along the way, her husband divorced her because she was “too strong-minded for a woman" and he was thus "unable to control her". My hunch is that she said thank you!
In 2004 Maathai became the first African woman to receive the Nobel Peace Prize.
Wangari Muta Maathai had to fight for virtually everything she had, and suffered many losses. But she was never defeated! Not long before her death, she told a simple story that seemed to capture the spirit of her life, and the essence of perseverance. It goes something like this…
A large forest fire raged out of control, and all the animals were overwhelmed by its power. As it consumed more and more of their home all they could do was watch, frozen by fear and feelings of powerlessness. Only the hummingbird could respond. He was intent on doing something, anything to make a difference. So, with his little wings he quickly flew to the nearest watering hole and filled his tiny beak with water, flew back to the edge of the fire and dropped the water he’d been able to carry. Again and again he flew back and forth. After a little while, the larger animals said to him, “What do you think you can do with your little wings and little beak?” Not stopping to defend himself or his actions he answered as he passed them, “I can do the best I can.”
Could the hummingbird put out the fire by himself? Of course not. But he could do the best he could with what he had, and keep doing it, regardless of what the conventional wisdom had to say, regardless of the overwhelming odds, regardless of the fact that he worked alone. And could any of us hope to do more that that?
The virtue of perseverance is about having meaningful goals, and continuing to strive to achieve those goals in spite of difficulties. What is meaningful? Anything that helps you or others develop good habits...habits that lead to life, habits that lead to happiness, habits that lead to heaven.
Because all virtues are grounded in reality, if the goal I am striving for is not ultimately sustainable or worthy of pursuit, perseverence will reveal this. In other words, at some point the hummingbird probably concluded that the fire could not be stopped and it was time to redirect his energies, but he was the better for having tried. And maybe his fellow forest dwellers learned a thing or two about life from watching him work. Nothing was wasted.
The virtue of perseverance is not based on external success or perfection, but rather on consistency and right motivation.
“I will be the best person I can be by doing what I can consistently.” “I will be the best father I can be by doing what I can consistently.” “I will be the best plumber I can be by doing what I can consistently.” “I will be the best student I can be by doing what I can consistently.”
“Great works are performed not by strength but by perseverance.” What is great? Don’t give up when things get hard, and you’ll know soon enough!
Question for reflection: Where have you practiced perseverance, and where do you need to?
-Samuel Johnson
Dr. Wangari Muta Maathai was a force of nature. In her seventy-one remarkable years she was a champion of women’s rights (especially in her native Kenya), was a notable environmentalist, and even served as a member of parliament and assistant minister for environment and natural resources. Along the way, her husband divorced her because she was “too strong-minded for a woman" and he was thus "unable to control her". My hunch is that she said thank you!
In 2004 Maathai became the first African woman to receive the Nobel Peace Prize.
Wangari Muta Maathai had to fight for virtually everything she had, and suffered many losses. But she was never defeated! Not long before her death, she told a simple story that seemed to capture the spirit of her life, and the essence of perseverance. It goes something like this…
A large forest fire raged out of control, and all the animals were overwhelmed by its power. As it consumed more and more of their home all they could do was watch, frozen by fear and feelings of powerlessness. Only the hummingbird could respond. He was intent on doing something, anything to make a difference. So, with his little wings he quickly flew to the nearest watering hole and filled his tiny beak with water, flew back to the edge of the fire and dropped the water he’d been able to carry. Again and again he flew back and forth. After a little while, the larger animals said to him, “What do you think you can do with your little wings and little beak?” Not stopping to defend himself or his actions he answered as he passed them, “I can do the best I can.”
Could the hummingbird put out the fire by himself? Of course not. But he could do the best he could with what he had, and keep doing it, regardless of what the conventional wisdom had to say, regardless of the overwhelming odds, regardless of the fact that he worked alone. And could any of us hope to do more that that?
The virtue of perseverance is about having meaningful goals, and continuing to strive to achieve those goals in spite of difficulties. What is meaningful? Anything that helps you or others develop good habits...habits that lead to life, habits that lead to happiness, habits that lead to heaven.
Because all virtues are grounded in reality, if the goal I am striving for is not ultimately sustainable or worthy of pursuit, perseverence will reveal this. In other words, at some point the hummingbird probably concluded that the fire could not be stopped and it was time to redirect his energies, but he was the better for having tried. And maybe his fellow forest dwellers learned a thing or two about life from watching him work. Nothing was wasted.
The virtue of perseverance is not based on external success or perfection, but rather on consistency and right motivation.
“I will be the best person I can be by doing what I can consistently.” “I will be the best father I can be by doing what I can consistently.” “I will be the best plumber I can be by doing what I can consistently.” “I will be the best student I can be by doing what I can consistently.”
“Great works are performed not by strength but by perseverance.” What is great? Don’t give up when things get hard, and you’ll know soon enough!
Question for reflection: Where have you practiced perseverance, and where do you need to?
Friday, January 13, 2012
On bended knee: The virtue of obedience
“It is for each of us freely to choose whom we shall serve, and find in that obedience our freedom.”
-Mary Richards
As you may know Tim Tebow is presently the starting quarterback for the Denver Broncos of the National Football League. And he has quickly become a figure of controversy because of a particular way he expresses commitment to his deepest convictions.
At crucial moments during the game or just afterwards he will kneel, seemingly oblivious to those watching him. Head bowed and resting against a firmly clinched fist, eyes shut, he prays. And this simple act has become a full-blown phenomenon. “Tebowing” has even been recognized as a word in the English language by the Global Language Monitor as a result of its worldwide usage. It is celebrated by an army of admirers and mocked by more than a few cynics.
What’s going on here? What exactly is the big deal about a football player, even a professional football player on television, kneeling to pray? Why are so many so upset? His critics loudly claim that Tebow has commercialized his religion, that he is a phony, that he is manipulative, and that he is out of line. But the shrill tone of these judgments, and the disproportionate anger aimed at “Tebowing” suggests a much deeper process at work here. And the simple act of kneeling is the trigger.
What does kneeling symbolize? Obedience. And in a world where individualism has become a popular religion, where the “I” answers to no one, kneeling is sacrilegious. With “I” as supreme ruler kneeling is an undignified and immature act at best, and more probably a sign of pathology…of a weak “follower.” Self-actualized adults are supposed to outgrow obedience like footsie pajamas, belief in Santa Claus, and the need for parental approval. Right?
Not if we’re talking about obedience as a virtue. A virtue makes one better, and also makes the world better. So, sad people checking their minds and their dignity at the door, and blindly following some crazy, evil tyrant need not apply.
Obedience as a virtue is about freely, thoughtfully following orders. It may be connected to religious beliefs, but it may not involve religion at all. The virtue of obedience reminds us that we don’t know everything, that we could use a little guidance now and again, and that we must be accountable to something more than our egos. It challenges us to move past self-absorption toward humility and service to others. And in the practice of the virtue of obedience, we find our greatest freedom.
“It is for each of us freely to choose whom we shall serve, and find in that obedience our freedom.”
My hope is that at some point the people criticizing Tim Tebow will stop focusing on his kneeling, and start focusing on his life. Because how he expresses obedience isn’t nearly as important as what this obedience produces.
And maybe these critics will also find some time to ask themselves what brings them to their knees…or should.
Question for reflection: What do you kneel for?
-Mary Richards
As you may know Tim Tebow is presently the starting quarterback for the Denver Broncos of the National Football League. And he has quickly become a figure of controversy because of a particular way he expresses commitment to his deepest convictions.
At crucial moments during the game or just afterwards he will kneel, seemingly oblivious to those watching him. Head bowed and resting against a firmly clinched fist, eyes shut, he prays. And this simple act has become a full-blown phenomenon. “Tebowing” has even been recognized as a word in the English language by the Global Language Monitor as a result of its worldwide usage. It is celebrated by an army of admirers and mocked by more than a few cynics.
What’s going on here? What exactly is the big deal about a football player, even a professional football player on television, kneeling to pray? Why are so many so upset? His critics loudly claim that Tebow has commercialized his religion, that he is a phony, that he is manipulative, and that he is out of line. But the shrill tone of these judgments, and the disproportionate anger aimed at “Tebowing” suggests a much deeper process at work here. And the simple act of kneeling is the trigger.
What does kneeling symbolize? Obedience. And in a world where individualism has become a popular religion, where the “I” answers to no one, kneeling is sacrilegious. With “I” as supreme ruler kneeling is an undignified and immature act at best, and more probably a sign of pathology…of a weak “follower.” Self-actualized adults are supposed to outgrow obedience like footsie pajamas, belief in Santa Claus, and the need for parental approval. Right?
Not if we’re talking about obedience as a virtue. A virtue makes one better, and also makes the world better. So, sad people checking their minds and their dignity at the door, and blindly following some crazy, evil tyrant need not apply.
Obedience as a virtue is about freely, thoughtfully following orders. It may be connected to religious beliefs, but it may not involve religion at all. The virtue of obedience reminds us that we don’t know everything, that we could use a little guidance now and again, and that we must be accountable to something more than our egos. It challenges us to move past self-absorption toward humility and service to others. And in the practice of the virtue of obedience, we find our greatest freedom.
“It is for each of us freely to choose whom we shall serve, and find in that obedience our freedom.”
My hope is that at some point the people criticizing Tim Tebow will stop focusing on his kneeling, and start focusing on his life. Because how he expresses obedience isn’t nearly as important as what this obedience produces.
And maybe these critics will also find some time to ask themselves what brings them to their knees…or should.
Question for reflection: What do you kneel for?
Friday, January 6, 2012
Because of you: The virtue of love
"If I know what love is, it is because of you."
-Herman Hesse
Love is the greatest of all the virtues. And it is the foundation of everything that is good. Nothing else has been written about more often than love, or studied more closely than love, or longed for more universally than love, or confused more regularly than love.
Love is why human beings were created, and what we should live to be and do. But what is it? After all the philosophizing, and theologizing, and soliloquizing, what is love?
Stop.
There’s a place and a time for defining, and analyzing, and categorizing. But to really get at the breadth and depth of love, and to really understand how to do it, we need to start with a different question.
Because fundamentally love is not a what, love is a who.
I can ask you to define what love is, and you might be able to quote someone. And that warms you about as much as watching a video of a fire in a fireplace. But if I ask you who love is, you come alive. Because love is incarnational, embodied, like no other virtue. Love wears a face.
Love has hugged you. Who is love?
Love has kissed you. Who is love?
Love has held your hand. Who is love?
Love has laughed with you. Who is love?
Love has cried with you. Who is love?
Love has sacrificed for you. Who is love?
Love has fought for you. Who is love?
We love because we have been loved; that’s how we know what love is, and that’s how we know that life is worth living.
Can you even imagine your life without love?
I think of so many who have blessed my life by loving me, and teaching me how to love. But today I'm thinking particularly of my father-in-law, on what would have been his 68th birthday. He’s been dead for fifteen years now…dead, but not gone. Because life in this world ends, but love doesn’t. And that’s everything.
I love you, Mike.
Question for reflection: Who are the faces of love for you?
-Herman Hesse
Love is the greatest of all the virtues. And it is the foundation of everything that is good. Nothing else has been written about more often than love, or studied more closely than love, or longed for more universally than love, or confused more regularly than love.
Love is why human beings were created, and what we should live to be and do. But what is it? After all the philosophizing, and theologizing, and soliloquizing, what is love?
Stop.
There’s a place and a time for defining, and analyzing, and categorizing. But to really get at the breadth and depth of love, and to really understand how to do it, we need to start with a different question.
Because fundamentally love is not a what, love is a who.
I can ask you to define what love is, and you might be able to quote someone. And that warms you about as much as watching a video of a fire in a fireplace. But if I ask you who love is, you come alive. Because love is incarnational, embodied, like no other virtue. Love wears a face.
Love has hugged you. Who is love?
Love has kissed you. Who is love?
Love has held your hand. Who is love?
Love has laughed with you. Who is love?
Love has cried with you. Who is love?
Love has sacrificed for you. Who is love?
Love has fought for you. Who is love?
We love because we have been loved; that’s how we know what love is, and that’s how we know that life is worth living.
Can you even imagine your life without love?
I think of so many who have blessed my life by loving me, and teaching me how to love. But today I'm thinking particularly of my father-in-law, on what would have been his 68th birthday. He’s been dead for fifteen years now…dead, but not gone. Because life in this world ends, but love doesn’t. And that’s everything.
I love you, Mike.
Question for reflection: Who are the faces of love for you?
Friday, December 30, 2011
Being a big elephant: The virtue of protectiveness
“All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing.”
-Edmund Burke
I recently heard an expert on bullying, Stu Cabe, address an auditorium full of high school students. He began with a story about elephants. Twenty years ago in Kruger National Park, South Africa’s largest conservation reserve, there was a serious over-population problem; too many elephants. Back then there was no cost effective way of moving the larger animals, so the decision was made to relocate the smaller elephants to another park.
Fine for the elephants, but not so much for their new neighbors, the white rhinos who over time began showing up dead. Turns out the relocated baby elephants had grown into adolescent bullies without the guidance of good role models, and the accountability that naturally follows. In their unchecked aggression, they were ramming the rhinos to death. Concerned about their steadily decreasing rhino population and the negative impact on tourism, the park figured they’d best correct the problem they’d first created years before. They rented special trucks and brought in large bull elephants to return the system to its natural state, establishing a new hierarchy. In a very short amount of time, the bigger bulls had laid down new rules for the younger elephants by modeling appropriate behavior, and physically intervening to stop the aggressive behavior when the modeling wasn’t enough. And surprise, surprise the violence stopped.
This world we live in is not unlike a wild animal reserve. There are hierarchies of power and rules of social engagement. And when proper modeling is lacking and active interventions are slow in coming, the vulnerable invariably get bullied. Why? Because human beings, when separated from a community that protects life, become small; they give in to fear, and selfishness, and violence. It’s “survival of the fittest”, and it’s ugly.
Bullying has now been identified as a major problem in schools. But of course it’s happening in schools because it’s happening everywhere else; at home, on the internet, at the office, and on the television. And finally, people are realizing that bullying doesn’t have to be physical in order to be violent. Far more damage is done with hateful words, mean-spirited alliances, and shaming actions than can ever be adequately measured.
Protectiveness as a virtue compels you to stand up for the underdog, get involved when you don’t have to, care when its not convenient, and live the belief that human rights extend beyond your own nose. And to understand how much is at stake if you don’t.
“All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing.” Good men, and good women, good boys, and good girls…
Unlike the animal reserve,when it comes to virtue “big-ness” isn’t dependent on the size of your body, but on the size of your heart. Yes adults should naturally lead in protecting life, but the young can and must be empowered to join this struggle as well.
For the sake of the vulnerable, for the sake of humanity, be a big elephant.
Question for reflection: What can you do to become more of a big elephant?
-Edmund Burke
I recently heard an expert on bullying, Stu Cabe, address an auditorium full of high school students. He began with a story about elephants. Twenty years ago in Kruger National Park, South Africa’s largest conservation reserve, there was a serious over-population problem; too many elephants. Back then there was no cost effective way of moving the larger animals, so the decision was made to relocate the smaller elephants to another park.
Fine for the elephants, but not so much for their new neighbors, the white rhinos who over time began showing up dead. Turns out the relocated baby elephants had grown into adolescent bullies without the guidance of good role models, and the accountability that naturally follows. In their unchecked aggression, they were ramming the rhinos to death. Concerned about their steadily decreasing rhino population and the negative impact on tourism, the park figured they’d best correct the problem they’d first created years before. They rented special trucks and brought in large bull elephants to return the system to its natural state, establishing a new hierarchy. In a very short amount of time, the bigger bulls had laid down new rules for the younger elephants by modeling appropriate behavior, and physically intervening to stop the aggressive behavior when the modeling wasn’t enough. And surprise, surprise the violence stopped.
This world we live in is not unlike a wild animal reserve. There are hierarchies of power and rules of social engagement. And when proper modeling is lacking and active interventions are slow in coming, the vulnerable invariably get bullied. Why? Because human beings, when separated from a community that protects life, become small; they give in to fear, and selfishness, and violence. It’s “survival of the fittest”, and it’s ugly.
Bullying has now been identified as a major problem in schools. But of course it’s happening in schools because it’s happening everywhere else; at home, on the internet, at the office, and on the television. And finally, people are realizing that bullying doesn’t have to be physical in order to be violent. Far more damage is done with hateful words, mean-spirited alliances, and shaming actions than can ever be adequately measured.
Protectiveness as a virtue compels you to stand up for the underdog, get involved when you don’t have to, care when its not convenient, and live the belief that human rights extend beyond your own nose. And to understand how much is at stake if you don’t.
“All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing.” Good men, and good women, good boys, and good girls…
Unlike the animal reserve,when it comes to virtue “big-ness” isn’t dependent on the size of your body, but on the size of your heart. Yes adults should naturally lead in protecting life, but the young can and must be empowered to join this struggle as well.
For the sake of the vulnerable, for the sake of humanity, be a big elephant.
Question for reflection: What can you do to become more of a big elephant?
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
Posts
