A dangerous fish

“Action expresses priorities.”
-Mohandas Gandhi

I feel the need to offer a disclaimer at the outset of this reflection: I am not against thinking deeply or feeling deeply. I’d hope that my career choices, and the twenty-three years I spent in school would support this position. And I might add that as a melancholic temperament, I naturally appreciate interiority and reflection. But there can be too much of a good thing.

Do you know the expression “following a red herring”? It comes from a medieval technique used by dog owners to train young scent hounds. A fish, typically a herring, would be soaked in brine or well-smoked and then dragged along a trail by the trainer until the puppy learned to follow the scent. But the goal was not to have the dog follow the strongest scent, but rather the original scent…the one identified as crucial to the search. So the trainer would introduce other scents, and eventually use the red herring to try and confuse the dog. Thus, a “red herring” has come to be known as something that diverts one away from tracking and locating the identified target.

Thinking deeply and feeling deeply by themselves do not lead to change. In fact, they can lead away from it. Self-obsession, isolation, stuckness? Quite possibly. But not change. I believe this is a major reason why counseling fails, even when clients show up, and keep showing up; all the talking and all the feeling doesn’t get translated into a meaningful plan of action that is moved on.

People change for the good, and for good, by living differently; by reflecting on their thoughts and feelings and then putting them into action.

And action expresses priorities.

Assume that a stranger was observing your life, day in and day out, for several months without you actually knowing it. At the conclusion of the study, would he or she have an accurate picture of what you say you value most, based solely on your actions?

“I love her.” What are you going to do about it? “I hate my job.” What are you going to do about it? “I regret my relationship with my mom.” What are you going to do about it? “I need to break that habit.” What are you going to do about it?

Don’t let thinking deeply and feeling deeply become red herrings. Use them to better track the real target, which is right action.

Question for reflection: Where do you need to take action?

Socks and shoes

“The devil is in the details.”
Anonymous

Growing up, I had the amazing experience of going to John Wooden basketball camp for five straight years. For those of you who aren’t hoops enthusiasts, let me explain why this was so special.

John Wooden was, is, and always will be considered the greatest college basketball coach of all time. While at U.C.L.A., his teams collected ten NCAA national championships in a 12-year period — seven in a row— an unprecedented achievement.

Within this period, his teams won a record 88 consecutive games. He was named national coach of the year six times. The athlete voted the most outstanding college basketball player in America each year is given the John R. Wooden award. The man is an icon.

From ages eight to twelve I got to spend a week each summer with this Hall of Famer, this legend, this master teacher…me and about two hundred other campers.

And what do I remember most clearly about my experiences with the master thirty some odd years later? How to properly put on my socks and shoes.

The first day of camp, the gym was buzzing with excitement. And then John Wooden walked in, the Wizard of Westwood. We all stood and cheered wildly, and he humbly nodded and waved. And then the lessons began. He asked us to take our sneakers and socks off, and spent the next fifteen minutes showing us how to properly put them back on, and why this all mattered.

The first time it happened, I admit I was a little underwhelmed. I figured we’d immediately start playing: running, shooting, and rebounding. Mom had already taught me how to dress myself…I wanted a bit more from Coach. And if I felt that way at eight, how do you think some of the greatest collegiate players of all time felt when he started practice the same way with them?

But John Wooden was a life-coach, not just a basketball coach. He understood that “the devil is in the details.” If you don’t pay attention to the little things, the seemingly meaningless details as you rush toward action, there will be serious consequences down the road; injuries and failures. I understand now.

Success is built on thoughtful planning, and respect for the fundamentals, and about taking care of first things first. Yes, action must happen, but carefully and with clear purpose.

Movement is not the same thing as progress.

I’m still that eight year-old far more often then I care to admit, hurrying to get ahead in the game of life and running the risk of overlooking key details; the clues to what matters most. I act as if I can’t afford to slow down; too much to get done. Can you relate?

Maybe it’s time to take the socks and shoes off, and start again?

Question for reflection: What are some of the details of your life you need to pay closer attention to?

A thing of beauty

“Earth is crammed with heaven, and every common bush afire with God…” E.B. Browning

It was definitely not my finest hour. I can make excuses; we were both in graduate school, we were both working multiple jobs, we were both stressed, money was tight. But I was still a knucklehead. Jenni and I had been back from our honeymoon all of one week, and I came home one evening to find my sweet wife joyfully arranging flowers in a crystal vase.

My parents had sent us twenty dollars in a “welcome home” card, and she’d gone out and bought a bright, beautiful bouquet with it. I immediately questioned my new bride’s judgment, stating quite rationally that the $20 could have paid for five or six dinners (at that time we were on an “all-pasta/all-the-time” meal plan). It could have paid for a month of electricity. It could have paid for a month of cable. “And besides,” I concluded, “the flowers will be dead in three days.” (Blank Stare).

After Jenni paused for a moment, she calmly explained that life wasn’t just about paying bills.

Wife: 1, Husband: O

Beauty matters. It matters because it awakens the senses, celebrates life, and elevates the spirit. And if it did nothing but this, it would matter a lot. Can you even imagine a day without beautiful colors, or music, or shapes, or smells? But beauty does something more, and the clue is in its passing nature.

Beauty is always passing away. By nature, it’s transitory. Flowers wilt, sunsets set, blue skies get smoggy or gray, rainbows vanish, scents dissipate, smiles disappear, and even physical beauty diminishes with time. And this is good, because if beauty never faded, we’d worship it. We’d stay fixated on the material, and not see the eternal purpose it ultimately serves. Beauty points to the One Who Created it, the One Who is eternal, the One Who is calling us to a beauty that doesn’t end.

Love beauty, and through it love the One Who thinks you are beautiful.

Question for reflection: What is beautiful to you?

Working it out

“It’s not the job you do, it’s how you do the job.”
-Anonymous

I awoke at 6 A.M. this morning with my newly attached crown suddenly detached, and rattling around in my mouth like a little piece of hard candy. Normally I’d have the self-restraint to wait until a decent hour to call about this, but nerve pain has a way of blowtorching certain social niceties.

I vaguely recalled my dentist encouraging me to contact his colleague who would be standing in for him over this holiday weekend if any problems arose.

So, I called Dr. Howard Gottlieb’s emergency number, expecting to get his answering service. The man himself picked up. Now remember, its Saturday morning, he’s not my dentist, and did I mention that it was 6 A.M. on a holiday weekend? “No problem, I’m on the job. Now let’s get you in and fixed up.”

I wasn’t on pain medication, so I know for sure that he actually said these words.

Honestly, if I listed all the virtues, the good habits, that make the world a better place, professionalism would not be in my top twenty…maybe not even in my top fifty. But it should be. Consider the powerfully positive impact doing your job with a spirit of excellence 40-50 hours a week, fifty some odd weeks a year, can have on the world around you.

Professionalism is not the job you do, it’s how you do the job.

It includes competency, but it’s much more than just competency. One who practices professionalism sees human beings and not just tasks, seizes opportunities to care and not just profit, and attends at least as much to what can’t be tallied on a spread sheet as what can.

That’s why professionalism is a virtue; it makes you a better person, not just a successful person.

So, in due time I arrived at the office and the good doctor was waiting for me. He was pleasant, prompt, and proficient, and in 45 minutes had me on my way. “How much do I owe you” I asked? “Nothing,” he answered. “Dr. Ford would do the same for me if I was on vacation.”

As I left I thanked him once more, and told him how very grateful I was for his professionalism. He smiled and shook his head. “Hey, this is what I do.”

Well, that’s true…and then some!

Question for reflection: How hard do you work at professionalism?