“Action expresses priorities.”
-Mohandas Gandhi
I feel the need to offer a disclaimer at the outset of this reflection: I am not against thinking deeply or feeling deeply. I’d hope that my career choices, and the twenty-three years I spent in school would support this position. And I might add that as a melancholic temperament, I naturally appreciate interiority and reflection. But there can be too much of a good thing.
Do you know the expression “following a red herring”? It comes from a medieval technique used by dog owners to train young scent hounds. A fish, typically a herring, would be soaked in brine or well-smoked and then dragged along a trail by the trainer until the puppy learned to follow the scent. But the goal was not to have the dog follow the strongest scent, but rather the original scent…the one identified as crucial to the search. So the trainer would introduce other scents, and eventually use the red herring to try and confuse the dog. Thus, a “red herring” has come to be known as something that diverts one away from tracking and locating the identified target.
Thinking deeply and feeling deeply by themselves do not lead to change. In fact, they can lead away from it. Self-obsession, isolation, stuckness? Quite possibly. But not change. I believe this is a major reason why counseling fails, even when clients show up, and keep showing up; all the talking and all the feeling doesn’t get translated into a meaningful plan of action that is moved on.
People change for the good, and for good, by living differently; by reflecting on their thoughts and feelings and then putting them into action.
And action expresses priorities.
Assume that a stranger was observing your life, day in and day out, for several months without you actually knowing it. At the conclusion of the study, would he or she have an accurate picture of what you say you value most, based solely on your actions?
“I love her.” What are you going to do about it? “I hate my job.” What are you going to do about it? “I regret my relationship with my mom.” What are you going to do about it? “I need to break that habit.” What are you going to do about it?
Don’t let thinking deeply and feeling deeply become red herrings. Use them to better track the real target, which is right action.
Question for reflection: Where do you need to take action?
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About Me
- Ross Porter
- Dr. Ross Porter received his B.A. from the University of California, Santa Barbara, and his Master of Divinity (Theology) and Ph.D. (Clinical Psychology) degrees from Fuller Theological Seminary, where he first became interested in the integration of psychology and spirituality. He is a teacher, author, counselor, and consultant, specializing in integrative psychology, virtue ethics and family systems. He has taught at the high school, college, and graduate school levels. Ross is also the Founder and Executive Director of Stillpoint Family Resources, a non-profit organization that offers counseling services to individuals, couples, and families in crisis, with nine different office locations throughout Ventura, Los Angeles and Orange Counties (specific office locations can be found at www.stillpointfamilyresources.org). In 2009, Dr. Porter was named an “Outstanding Angeleno” by the Los Angeles Daily News. Ross and his wife Jennifer have been married for 21 years, and have four beautiful children. John Michael, their son who has Down Syndrome is their first born.
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