Saturday, April 21, 2012

No and yes: The virtue of availability

“God does not begin by asking our ability, only our availability, and if we prove our dependability, He will increase our capability.”
-Neal A. Maxwell

Do you know the name Irena Sendler? She was a social worker, a member of the Polish underground, and personally responsible for saving 2,500 Jewish children during the Nazi occupation of Poland.

In 1939, 450,000 Jews were rounded up in Warsaw by the Nazis and crammed into a tiny section of the city, behind seven foot high walls. This was the beginning of the “purge”, and Sendler knew that time was precious. As the head of the children’s bureau of Zegota, a social service program responsible for monitoring the threat of typhus in this newly established ghetto, she was given unlimited access by the Nazis in order to insure “sanitary conditions.”

What the Nazis didn’t realize was that Zegota was also the cover for an underground resistance movement committed to saving Jews from death, and Sendler was at the heart of this effort. From 1939 to 1943, using health inspections as an excuse, she entered the ghetto again and again with the roughly thirty volunteers she’d assembled, and smuggle infants and children out; in coffins, burlap sacks, tool cases, wrapped packages, and even beneath the floor boards of an ambulance.

And as parents entrusted her with their most precious treasures, Sendler asked for the names. For safety she fabricated new identities for the children, but wanted to make sure their original identities were not lost. She buried this list of names in a glass jar, under a tree in her backyard in case she was arrested.

In 1943, the Gestapo did finally catch Sendler. She was imprisoned, tortured, and sentenced to death. However she was able to escape, and went into hiding. As soon as the war ended, she dug up the jar, grabbed the list, and went to work trying to re-connect the children she’d saved with their families.

Irena Sendler understood that no one is guaranteed another tomorrow. She learned to be very focused on who she served, sacrificed, and loved. And she did so heroically. This is why she’s an example of the virtue of availability…for all time.
Nothing is more fundamental than relationships. Everything flows from them; life, love, meaning, and purpose. And the virtue of availability serves and safeguards this broad truth.

But availability is also strategic. It helps you understand your own limits and boundaries as you give to others, recognizing that the “good” can be the enemy of the “best.”

Our hurting world is full of people in need, people who are worthy of love, people who will pull on you. But attempting to be there for anyone and everyone, on demand, all the time, is pathological not virtuous. Thus, if you want to have the greatest impact you must make decisions about who most needs your time…and who most deserves your time. This may sound cold and un-caring to some, but it is reality nonetheless.

Availability as a virtue tells you that you must be able to say “no” in order to truly say “yes.”

Questions for reflection:
Is it difficult for you to say ‘no’ when people ask you for something?
Who models the virtue of availability for you? How?
What is one thing you can begin doing to practice the virtue of availability?