“History is not was, it is.”
-Arthur Schlessinger
Our little one, Annie, is a Girl Scout. And on the tenth anniversary of 9/11, her troop was asked to participate in a memorial service at the local elementary school. It struck me as important, really important, that she was being asked to remember this event. But I wasn’t at all sure she felt the same way. In fact, I was pretty sure she didn’t.
So, before she left for the event, I asked what 9/11 meant to her. She hesitated for a moment and then answered, “People died on that day.” Yes, very true. As I gathered my thoughts to delve deeper, she blurted out, “Dad, can we go get slurpees after?” Completely understandable response from a nine year-old who didn’t understand exactly what she was supposed to be remembering, from a day she wasn’t even alive for. “Yes, slurpees afterwards…and maybe we can talk some more about 9/11?”
Teaching moments and learning moments can happen at anytime, anywhere, to anyone. But in our rushing around, we sometimes lose track of the larger world and the more eternally significant issues. So we are given the gift of “remembrance” days, where we are reminded that something life-changing, world-shaping happened. And whether we were alive or not doesn’t change the fact that what occurred on that day is important enough to stop and think about.
Some of these days are civil days of remembrance, like the 4th of July, Thanksgiving, D-Day, and Memorial Day. Some are religious days of remembrance, like Easter, Christmas, Rosh Hashanah, and Yom Kippur. And some remembrance days are so personal they will matter to only a select few; a wedding anniversary, a birthday, or a death date.
On these days, we are invited to remember that which is (or could be) significant to us; what deserves reflection, mourning, and/or celebration. And with the invitation to remember comes the opportunity to practice the virtue of remembrance. Practice.
If remembrance is just about recalling an event from the past, it’s a history lesson but not a virtue. Something, that happened somewhere, to someone else…
Remembrance is a virtue, a good habit that makes us better people, because it trains us to recall what is significant about life, and then apply these lessons to our own lives. Remembrance must become personal, and it must be lived.
“History is not was, it is.”
As we drove home from the 7/11 store, I asked Annie about the service. “Oh Dad, we sang The Star Spangled banner, and there were firemen there, and we all made handprints on a wall, and talked about the brave people, and why we can’t take our freedom for granted…and how we can be better because of that day.”
How we can be better because of that day; lesson learned.
Question for reflection: What are the days of remembrance that you honor, or should honor?
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About Me
- Ross Porter
- Dr. Ross Porter received his B.A. from the University of California, Santa Barbara, and his Master of Divinity (Theology) and Ph.D. (Clinical Psychology) degrees from Fuller Theological Seminary, where he first became interested in the integration of psychology and spirituality. He is a teacher, author, counselor, and consultant, specializing in integrative psychology, virtue ethics and family systems. He has taught at the high school, college, and graduate school levels. Ross is also the Founder and Executive Director of Stillpoint Family Resources, a non-profit organization that offers counseling services to individuals, couples, and families in crisis, with nine different office locations throughout Ventura, Los Angeles and Orange Counties (specific office locations can be found at www.stillpointfamilyresources.org). In 2009, Dr. Porter was named an “Outstanding Angeleno” by the Los Angeles Daily News. Ross and his wife Jennifer have been married for 21 years, and have four beautiful children. John Michael, their son who has Down Syndrome is their first born.
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