I wonder why it is that in a world where there is increasing sensitivity to certain words (words that put down people because of race, religion, nationality, or sexual orientation) that the "R" word continues to be acceptable to use? "Retard;" one hears it on T.V., on the radio, and in casual conversation to describe questionable judgements or just plain stupid behavior.
So why not use "stupid" to describe stupid behavior? Why not use "dumb" to describe dumb choices? Why use a clinical term that is not even commonly used in professional circles anymore because it is too broad, and doesn't properly reflect the giftedness of human beings who are intelligent in ways that don't necessarily show up on a standard I.Q. test?
Am I sensitive to the word "retarded" because I have a son with Down syndrome? Yes. I readily admit that I am more conscious, more aware, and more sensitive to this put-down word. I'd also add that I'm more sensitive to all put-down words thanks to my specially gifted son. Thank God there is a growing awareness that words matter!
But back to the issue of the "R"word? Why does its usage continue to be so widely acceptable? Is it because special needs persons don't form a huge voting block? Don't have a powerful lobby in Washington? Don't produce movies or television shows in Hollywood? Yes.
More fundamentally, though, it has to do with the way our culture continues to overvalue certain achievements and undervalue others.
What school you graduate from, how many degrees you collect, how high you climb on the company ladder, how much money you make, how many toys you can collect, and how good you look doing all this "succeeding" matters more than being a kind person, a loving person, and generous person, a joyful person.
Balance, people, balance...who we are matters at least as much as what we do. And in the end the two can't be separated.
"Retard" is more than just a put-down word. It carries a dangerous bias with it, a bias that feeds ignorance, and callousness, and divisiveness; a bias that limits ALL of us.
Find another word.
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About Me
- Ross Porter
- Dr. Ross Porter received his B.A. from the University of California, Santa Barbara, and his Master of Divinity (Theology) and Ph.D. (Clinical Psychology) degrees from Fuller Theological Seminary, where he first became interested in the integration of psychology and spirituality. He is a teacher, author, counselor, and consultant, specializing in integrative psychology, virtue ethics and family systems. He has taught at the high school, college, and graduate school levels. Ross is also the Founder and Executive Director of Stillpoint Family Resources, a non-profit organization that offers counseling services to individuals, couples, and families in crisis, with nine different office locations throughout Ventura, Los Angeles and Orange Counties (specific office locations can be found at www.stillpointfamilyresources.org). In 2009, Dr. Porter was named an “Outstanding Angeleno” by the Los Angeles Daily News. Ross and his wife Jennifer have been married for 21 years, and have four beautiful children. John Michael, their son who has Down Syndrome is their first born.
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