“Better to light one candle than to curse the darkness.”
-The Christophers
You know the old saying, “You don’t fully appreciate something until it’s gone”? A few weeks ago in the midst of a fast-moving winter storm, we temporarily lost power in our home. I suddenly remembered again what a gift electricity is…electricity and light.
After some initial grumbling and stumbling around in the dark, the matches and candles were located. And soon the darkness was being pushed back. It still remained in the corners because it was night, and of course candles only have so much power. But there was enough illumination for us to carry on, to move forward.
Lighting candles in the dark is an apt metaphor for the virtue of optimism.
But to better understand what optimism is, let’s first clear up what optimism is not.
Optimism is not whistling in the darkness, pretending that things will change on their own. That is magical thinking.
Optimism is not denying the darkness and carrying on as if nothing had changed. That is delusional.
And optimism is not a desperate sales pitch that the darkness is clearly preferable to light. That is denial.
Pretending that there are no problems, no struggles, and no discomfort is distracting, anxiety-provoking, and potentially dangerous. Because goodness, and healing, and transformation are built on truth not illusion. Denying what is, only sets one up for disappointments, and eventually despair.
Optimism is about believing that there's meaning to be discovered in the midst of challenges, and options for good. And it moves one from problem-focused to solution-focused. Optimism is creative, and life-giving, and firmly grounded in reality. It has no time for falsity; too much is at stake.
“I have cancer, but I will find ways to keep living.” “I’ve lost my job, but I’ll start looking for new opportunities.” “I am unhappy with my life, but I’m going to figure out why, and then do some things differently.”
This season calls for optimism, when the world is short on light and the Spring seems very far away…this season, when so many are hurting, and scared, and confused. The economy continues to sputter, the unemployment rate remains high, people are still losing their homes, and there is no significant turn-around in sight. Cursing the darkness is a tempting option, but then what?
Optimism says light a candle, push back the darkness a bit, and find in the freedom you still have all the good choices you can still make.
And I promise, in this Advent Season, grateful prayers for all of you…especially those searching for matches and candles.
Question for reflection: How well do you seek solutions in the midst of problems?
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About Me
- Ross Porter
- Dr. Ross Porter received his B.A. from the University of California, Santa Barbara, and his Master of Divinity (Theology) and Ph.D. (Clinical Psychology) degrees from Fuller Theological Seminary, where he first became interested in the integration of psychology and spirituality. He is a teacher, author, counselor, and consultant, specializing in integrative psychology, virtue ethics and family systems. He has taught at the high school, college, and graduate school levels. Ross is also the Founder and Executive Director of Stillpoint Family Resources, a non-profit organization that offers counseling services to individuals, couples, and families in crisis, with nine different office locations throughout Ventura, Los Angeles and Orange Counties (specific office locations can be found at www.stillpointfamilyresources.org). In 2009, Dr. Porter was named an “Outstanding Angeleno” by the Los Angeles Daily News. Ross and his wife Jennifer have been married for 21 years, and have four beautiful children. John Michael, their son who has Down Syndrome is their first born.
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