The Holiday Season is now officially upon us, and in the next several weeks we will have built-in opportunities to practice the virtue of generosity. Quick, what comes to mind? If gift-giving was your first thought, you are not alone. And there is certainly nothing wrong with exchanging presents. But an exclusively material understanding of this virtue is to miss the essence of generosity. In fact, some of the most giving and charitable people I know have very little in the way of things. Generosity is first and last a gift of the heart.
In my clinical practice, I have had the opportunity to work with many special people who were outstanding in one way or another. But one stands out as truly memorable when I think about the virtue of generosity...I'll call her Miriam. I met her soon after she was diagnosed with cancer. Miriam told me that the doctors gave her less than a year to live, and she didn’t want that to get in the way of her life. In the weeks that followed, Miriam and I talked a lot about spirituality, and how to bring meaning out of her terminal condition. She decided that the focus for the remainder of her time on earth needed to be service to others. Although she had always been involved in one charity or another, it had been on the side. Now, she wanted her volunteerism to be front and center. A local soup kitchen in need of helpers welcomed her with open arms, and in no time her grace and selflessness began to impact everyone around her. The homeless people would find out when she was going to be working so they could come by to visit with her, and the staff began calling her “mom”.
She gave tirelessly, whether ladling soup, washing dishes, encouraging diners, or counseling other volunteers about relationships. As time passed, Miriam began to grow weaker, but she insisted that she wanted to continue. So the organization arranged for her to be picked up at her apartment, and placed several recliner chairs around the facility so that she had a place to rest wherever she was in the building. I was told by several of her co-workers that Miriam never stopped smiling, never stopped asking others about their lives, and never stopped talking about how fortunate she had been in her life.
What the staff didn’t know was that Miriam was the survivor of a violent childhood and a horribly abusive marriage, and had fewer material possessions than most of the homeless people she fed and cared for. Her generosity elevated Miriam to a level of goodness, of greatness, most could never have dreamed of before meeting her.
And I have no doubt that when she did at last walk through the gates of Heaven on that bright December afternoon, nearly ten years ago now, the angels bowed in admiration.
I wish all of you a blessed Holiday Season, a season full of generosity that begins and ends in the heart.
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About Me
- Ross Porter
- Dr. Ross Porter received his B.A. from the University of California, Santa Barbara, and his Master of Divinity (Theology) and Ph.D. (Clinical Psychology) degrees from Fuller Theological Seminary, where he first became interested in the integration of psychology and spirituality. He is a teacher, author, counselor, and consultant, specializing in integrative psychology, virtue ethics and family systems. He has taught at the high school, college, and graduate school levels. Ross is also the Founder and Executive Director of Stillpoint Family Resources, a non-profit organization that offers counseling services to individuals, couples, and families in crisis, with nine different office locations throughout Ventura, Los Angeles and Orange Counties (specific office locations can be found at www.stillpointfamilyresources.org). In 2009, Dr. Porter was named an “Outstanding Angeleno” by the Los Angeles Daily News. Ross and his wife Jennifer have been married for 21 years, and have four beautiful children. John Michael, their son who has Down Syndrome is their first born.
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