Growing Up: The Virtue of Being Family

The family is the heart of our society, of civilization itself. This has always been the case in every culture and every country throughout history. Nothing has a greater influence over an individual than the family unit...not school, not profession, not even church or synagogue. The family of origin, that is the family we are born into, gives us our blueprint for how to see and interact with self, others, life, and God. Family is our first teacher. This is not to say we need to be controlled by our pasts. Certainly healing and growth can happen at any stage of life, but as long as we live we will be interacting with our original families, if not face-to-face at least in our hearts and minds.

Being a family is so much more than simple genetics, or living together under one roof, or eating a certain amount of meals together, or sharing a common history, or even sharing a last name. Being family does not happen accidentally, it must be chosen...multiple times a day. We choose to be family when we make concrete decisions, big and small, with what we say or don't say, do or don't do, think or don't think, feel or don't feel.

• We choose to be family when we love each other in word and deed
• We choose to be family when we teach our children right and wrong, and hold ourselves to the same objective standard
• We choose to be family when we listen to each other at least as much as we speak to each other
• We choose to be family when we reach outside of ourselves and serve others
• We choose to be family when we celebrate the uniqueness of each individual family member
• We choose to be family when we play together, laugh together, and celebrate Sabbath together

Being family is a process that must become habitual...that's why I'm calling it a virtue. And good habits take time to form. Practice, practice, practice...with little and big acts, growing in consistency, intentional and freely given. It's not always easy, and it's not always fun. A healthy family recognizes this, and chooses to make the investment of time, energy, and spirit anyway.

There is nothing more important on a natural level than truly practicing the virtue of being family, and as we ask God into this process, to bless and guide our efforts, the results become sacramental. Get started (or re-started) tonight. You'll be glad a thousand years from now that you did!